Firstly, I get a limited time with you. If you want to know why there’s blood in your stool, don’t bore me with seven minutes on the finger you caught in the door first. Likewise, waiting until you’ve got five issues needing looking at before turning up makes it hard for me to prioritise which really needs the attention ( Read more... )

Right, lets make this as clear as possible:

[The doctor sitting in front of the monitor leans close and speaks s l o w l y.]

Mammograms are not as much fun as you think. Any more patients today with a significant family history and I'm going to start delegating to the night porter.

[Private to House & Cameron]Hemofiltration's working. At least ( Read more... )

[The video shows an expanse of office wall, the twisted cord of a telephone off the hook the only thing breaking up the blank green square.]

Well I'm off shift in five minutes, so if anyone comes back could you please explain to them the difference between a NICU and a creche? Right. You can send them... send them...

[An elbow hoves into view, ( Read more... )

[We join this telephone call mid-way, the speaker somehow only picking up one side of the conversation.]ANA came back negative, it's not lupus. You can tell House we've got a new symptom, though. Nausea ( Read more... )

[Most of this sounds slightly distorted, the recording picking up speech being broadcast through another microphone]

No, all those extra people in the city aren't ghosts, they're just people. I promise, anything bad went away with Halloween.

Capturing.... damn. I can't get a good image of the chest cavity, she won't quit...Mindy? I know it's loud ( Read more... )

Clinics are nuthouses at the best of times. I've had the woman who thought a D&C was where the President lived, the patient who described her husband's massive myocardial infarct as a 'massive internal fart'. The one who liberally applied KY Jelly to her toast.So far today? Seventeen patients TTFO, and I've stopped counting the totally unnecessary ( Read more... )